if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
