Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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