she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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