why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
porn star boner night. come get it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
