Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize