I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize