is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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