i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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