Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
false alarm. still invincible.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
