In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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