chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
