She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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