I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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