the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
