garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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