maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
