Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
