It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
