What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
