smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
How external is "for external use only"?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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