My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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