i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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