U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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