White coat. Heels.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
