Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
