She's JV to your varsity
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...