i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
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I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
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There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.