highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.