I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.