A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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