So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
