The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
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I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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