I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
