Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
