pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
