Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
