The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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