Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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