I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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