I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
