it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
