Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He passed out mid-signature
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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