Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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