And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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