words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
