Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
