WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
