Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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