i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
