i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
