Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
