Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
