remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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