sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
