We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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