I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
