That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
