whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
