I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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