she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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