So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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