I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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