I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
