So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
