Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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