you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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