when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
